Jay and Noga was sitting next to each other. Jay was curious what Noga was thinking of. Was he thinking of what story he should write? Or was he thinking of Amy? Jay thought, 'Noga is probably thinking 'Ah What should I eat with Amy during lunch today? Where should I eat? Should I eat with her along my friends? Or should I take her somewhere quiet so that we are not bothered by anyone?' since it is almost lunch time now.' However Jay was wrong. Noga was a nice student who was thinking hard of what story he should write.
In the other hand, after Noga finished his story, he was curious what Jay thought of his writing. 'He would probably think 'Noga's writing is quite okay since he followed all the format and the story itself is not quite bad.' since he had an admirable look towards me.'
This was close. Jay thought Noga did an excellent job in writing a complicated and twisted point of view story during English F block. How did you do it so quickly? He asked, but the words never came out. 'Did he read the story in the textbook and got the idea 'Ah! I should simply follow the same format!'? How did he finish his task so quickly?' He was write this time. Noga used his textbook wisely and finished his work quickly.
Jay P - One of the definite positives is that I'm one of the characters involved in the story. And another great aspect of this short writing is the use of multiple perspectives in chaotic arrangements which is what we are trying to achieve with the stream of consciousness style of writing. A constructive criticism will be that this story as no real deep plot or behind meanings attached to it - you described what happened in your classroom at the moment! But we were all limited in time so considering that it's great, especially in terms of style.
Paul B - One of the absolute negatives is that I'm not one of the characters in the story. In addition, there are a few grammar errors to add on to the list. However, in contrast to all these adjustable mistakes or flaws in the writing, I really enjoyed reading about the very realistic aspects that we can all visualize. The flow of the story was smooth not to mention the continuous emphasis on the Modernist aspects. If only the author can try to get his mind off of making people laugh and put more focus in the content, a better work just might've been available for the readers. And again, I'm not criticizing just because I wasn't in the story, really.
In the other hand, after Noga finished his story, he was curious what Jay thought of his writing. 'He would probably think 'Noga's writing is quite okay since he followed all the format and the story itself is not quite bad.' since he had an admirable look towards me.'
This was close. Jay thought Noga did an excellent job in writing a complicated and twisted point of view story during English F block. How did you do it so quickly? He asked, but the words never came out. 'Did he read the story in the textbook and got the idea 'Ah! I should simply follow the same format!'? How did he finish his task so quickly?' He was write this time. Noga used his textbook wisely and finished his work quickly.
Jay P - One of the definite positives is that I'm one of the characters involved in the story. And another great aspect of this short writing is the use of multiple perspectives in chaotic arrangements which is what we are trying to achieve with the stream of consciousness style of writing. A constructive criticism will be that this story as no real deep plot or behind meanings attached to it - you described what happened in your classroom at the moment! But we were all limited in time so considering that it's great, especially in terms of style.
Paul B - One of the absolute negatives is that I'm not one of the characters in the story. In addition, there are a few grammar errors to add on to the list. However, in contrast to all these adjustable mistakes or flaws in the writing, I really enjoyed reading about the very realistic aspects that we can all visualize. The flow of the story was smooth not to mention the continuous emphasis on the Modernist aspects. If only the author can try to get his mind off of making people laugh and put more focus in the content, a better work just might've been available for the readers. And again, I'm not criticizing just because I wasn't in the story, really.